Developing Continuing Relationships

The excerpts from journals that follow are examples of participants' developing new, continuing relationships with their loved ones on the next plane of life.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Journal question: What did this person look like?

He was wonderfully beautiful, he looks young, like the first time, we spent together on earth. He looked like a 26-28 old person, dressed so nice and elegant = white trousers and a light blue shirt, curly red-blond hairs and finally a beard again! He smells very good. He’s smiling at me,overjoyed to be with me.

Finally I felt “at home”! Not alone! I felt being close to that person I’m wishing to be closed to.

Journal instruction: Describe the dialogue here. If you remember the dialogue itself, write it here.

Me: Hallo ,I’m overjoyed to see You!

He don’t answer. But he cuddled me, began to weep, began to smile, he kissed me and kissed me, but being in silence. Then he took my hand and arm in arm we’re walking down these large floors of the medical centre. He continued kissing and cuddling me.

We stopped walking, remaining in a tender embrace, feeling each other very closed, for a long while saying nothing….. cause we didn’t need talking…

Me: Didn’t you feel pain anymore?

He smiled and me demonstrated to me his whole body, giving me a sign to touch his back, where are the lungs, one time racked with pain only touching them tenderly. He let hear me his kind of breathing, it sounded normally and wonderful, he ran up and down, showing me smiling, that he was able to, at least he took my hands and we’re dancing on that large floors, laughing loudly like two silly kids.

Me: Are You happy, where you are living now?

Karl: I’m with my brother Hans, with Your father, sometimes I see my son. I do with them electronic researching. (He was an electronic engineer for medical instruments and appliances). I’m helping people with cancer, I’m here in this centre very often. It does me good, I know, how they’re feeling . But your father and me, we’re doing handwork in electronic. Hans is helping us, giving funny comments.

Me: And your mother? (They quarreled, he for 2 years didn’t talk to her. She died alone in a hospice. She didn’t agree his way of life..)

Karl: We love each other.

Me: Do you often go home at Munich?

Karl: Yes I do, you know why.. (his wife, still living has cancer too). My daughter, you have you seen her on the Internet. She has a very good job in a centre for persons with Downs syndrome, I’m very proud of her. And You see and recognize all my signs I’m sending to you, it’s fantastic, how we can communicate with them… we know the way, we’ve just practiced them in life on earth.

Me: How is Adele? ( his wife)

Karl: Not so good. She’s suffering very much.. but she must do it , it is the right way for her.

Me: And your other daughter?

Karl: You just know, she’s like Adele. But her kids are fantastic!

Me: And here with me?

Karl: I’m so often with you. I love you, I love your Life, your place, where you’re living, you know that all. I’ve to protect you, because on earth there is no one protecting you, they all have their lives.. you have good kids, be proud of them, you have a good companion, without real love, but he is a good person. Your mother is… love her, forgive her. You have to continue helping persons, they need you.

Me: May I come to You, crossing over… soon?

Karl: No answer…. Then: I cannot…. But you are and you know that, so often here with me, during the nights… and you know that very well.

Me: Can we continue our contact? Karl it still remaining actively?

Karl: KIEP KUHL! ( I see in that manner, it’s written in German pronouncing, we did that joke, very very often… speaking in another language and writing in that manner, how you have to pronounce it). I don’t let you alone, I’m waiting for here, I don’t want to go on… when you’ll come, together we’ll svilupate.

Me: Don’t do this, don’t’ stop, please go on!

Karl: Don’t worry, I do OK. No, I don’t know…. I’ll see… later ,when you are here, we’ll grow together.. we’ll help people, together. You and me!

Me: I love You!

Karl: and I love you more.. so much more, you can’t imagine how much… but now, let us be silent and enjoy this experience. I’m so happy, that we have each other, beyond the bounds of earth and heaven, I knew this all the time. Your father is here with me, he’s smiling at you, he’s standing here, he’s helping me… he knows that he failed separating us.. now he is helping us, you see his signs too, you know them.

Me: Thank you of being here with me!

Karl: Don’t worry so much about so many things. Stop it! Be careful of all my signs. Craig is good! Go on, it is the right way! Be humbly, pray, forgive, be good to all persons, I love You. So many times I’m with you.. that will never change, never… you know that!

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Today I’ve had a wonderful connection with Karl. We were close to each other, embraced, and having real dialogues, asking and responding, I really heard him talking and explaining to me, with his fine, silent voice and in his calm , confidential manner. He assured me that we were dialoging as ever and whenever we need it to do. I asked him why I cannot feel him, his hand, his kiss, his caressing. He imagined that this will be a question of weight and vibration…..he said, that all these physical constants, we use on earth, were totally diverse. But Karl assured me, that he can feel my caresses and kisses on his photo.

I asked him about his occupation and living and duties. Karl told me, that he had chosen freely and spontaneously to help heavy diseased people on Earth, he said that very often he turned to the Earth Plane, to Munich, his native city, where he lived his earthly life, he had to go to this big clinical centre, to hospices where people laid in final state of cancer, waiting for crossing over. He said that he is the specialist, the expert of the clinical centre where he tried to cure his cancer, knowing very well this labyrinth…. Their way to cure, the doctors, the machines…. He said too, that when I’ll cross over, we will do these missions together, helping diseased and invalidly persons on the Earth plane. During these occasions returning on the Earth, at Munich so often, he can have a look to his daughter have some difficulties, his wife. I asked about the state of her illness, if she had just passed. Karl denied, explaining that she is suffering very much…. And how long? I asked. Karl: Still for several years, under bad conditions of life. At least I asked if he knew when I finally can join to him, ending my Earth life. He answered that I still have to live for my son, because he needed my help. I was wondering, because I see my son growing up well…

….Then Karl kissed me good bye, ”I love you, don’t forget it”… he had to go…. And for the first time I saw him leaving me, going to the circle of my place of love, there he reversed, sending me a last smile and a kiss flowing to me… and disappeared in a golden shining light…. and I felt my tears running down my face…..Thank you my Lord, of giving me that wonderful opportunities of grace and lovingness…..

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Arriving at my place of love, for the first time I could my own appearance in a foggy reflection, created on the ground. I was wondering and admiring my young, sweet and lovely looking face, wearing a long white lacy flounce dress , wearing the white floral wreath, Karl has given to me yesterday, on my long blond curly hair, like once a time, …. Mmmh, not bad at all!

I saw Karl on the top of the stairs, nearby the opening, that wonderful shining moving circle, a simply but very lovely place of love. He was waving to me with 2 hands. I bumped into his arms and joyfully he clasped me on his bosom, veering me round. Nevertheless I couldn’t hide my tears, because I didn’t really feel his hugs and kisses, I’m longing for much.

Karl smiled, dashing away my tears, making his eyes light up, saying to me: “Put two fingers on your cheek! Don’t move them, I will do it!” I did so and after a little while I could feel my 2 fingers moving tenderly, describing delicately little circles… caressing in this manner my cheeks, my front, my hairs, my ears, my lips…. the most endearingly kind of touch I’ve ever had! What a heartwarming sensation!......

Movement was coming into play: I could see so many well-known persons coming out of my opening circle, first of all my neighbor Sebastian: “Greet my wife Valerie!” Yes, Sebastian, this time I promised you to do it, then passed Eleanor, the daughter of my best friend, I recognized the plenty of her little earrings, I saw inhabitants of my town, known and well-known faces, I saw the old man Bruno, father of another friend, crossed over only a few weeks ago, saying: “ I am always walking, I like walking, walking without pain. I saw a German friend of my mother, living here in town too, a vigorous, not gentle woman in life, she seemed so sweetly. Then confusion, many persons were coming out, never ending…. I didn’t know them, but it seemed that they were knowing me and wanted to greet me….I became a little bit afraid of this event, so Karl took me in his arms, seeing my state of confusion, and conduced me out of that scene…

In a few moments we found ourselves in this marvelous, calm and green landscape, I ‘ve seen it just for several occasions. Karl whistled and a sympathetic young dog arrived jumping around our legs, a boxer, Karl wished to have one on the Earth plane, but he was not allowed… “ This is Sam!” he explained, joking with this jumping dog.

Then we ‘re going for a walk in this beautiful landscape, talking about guides and angels and the Source. Me: Who are your guides?” Karl smiling: “ I have several ones, inter alia- among others, Craig in a certain manner is relevant for me! You are wondering, aren’t you?” Me : “ Yes, I’m wondering, because I didn’t know that even Higher Selves can just be guides!” Karl: “ You must know, that I have given my personal permission in collaborating with the Spiritual Understanding Association. You know, WE ARE IN CHARGE… I’ve become acknowledge about Craig and his Research, I liked it and approved his ideals and therefore I agreed to collaborate, helping and influencing your thoughts for finding Craig on the Earth plane! It was not easy and it takes some time… but how do you pray each night: “ Seek and you shall find! Ask and you shall receive! Knocking at the door, they will open it!”….. connection ended, during my writing the usual type of airplane was flying deeply over my house, round and round and round, soaring loudly….

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

I went easily to my beautiful place where the marble glows warmly not cold at all. I asked for Tom who came immediately. No visuals just an intuitive knowing. I asked to touch his face which I did but in actuality I was touching my own. This reaffirmed to me our Oneness. I asked to go through the doorway to Eternity. We did and it was more beautiful than I remembered. The flowers were more. More of everything. More colorful. More fragrant. The path stretched far into clouds and we walked past the benches we have sat on before. This time we went a bit farther before we sat. I think it was the eigth bench.

I still cannot go to the end but I go farther each time. We sat again no visuals of Tom and I remarked that as much as I wish I could see him and to have one more day with him that I know it would only leave me wanting more and so I will accept whatever I am blessed with.

I told Tom that lately I feel I have turned a corner on my journey. That I am able to feel more peace and joy more of the time. Tom told me my prayers to Spirit to help me to live more astutely and to die in an astute manner are heard and being answered. He told me I'm making great strides here and he is proud of me. He told me always remember he is in my heart as I am in his. That the Oneness is growing stronger. He feels it more because. I am still hampered by my body while he is not.

He reiterated that where I am is where I am to be. To let go of feeling I've abandoned my family by moving here to California. He asked me to put those feelings of guilt into the bubble and release any regrets. I did. Tom explained I am here to find life whereas I was slowly dying in Boise. That I am worthy of being selfish in taking myself out of a painful reminder. To enjoy life not dread it. That this is why he manuvered to get us here. Also because he knows its what his Dad always wanted and he deserved this reward for all the years he worked so hard. He also wanted us out of the support group we started and ran for two years. He could see the pain others were in was intensifying ours. California is a new start to a new life for us.

We went back to my marble room where we spoke a bit more. I asked for a hug and physically felt my body break out in chills as he hugged me. He again touched my heart telling me he is always there and I touched his knowing I am always there. Tom then left and I returned back here.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Anxiousness to begin the process. I could see and feel the place I previously met my husband. I flet his anxiousness as well to. We kissed and embraced; I could see and feel his lips, skin, body. Then I talked a lot, unloading what has been on my mind and recent occurrences. I asked him some questions about what to do about certain financial matters, I asked him about our daughter's school grades and teachers, and I asked him about previous messages he gave me as well as validation of his messages. The dialogue between us seem to happen very fast, but I realize we went on past the recorded music. As I was coming out, I was prevented from opening my eyes and I received the message to pray so I did. The prayer covered a lot and extended from immediate loved ones to world leaders and mankind.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

My son Dan (deceased now) came right up to me. He wasn't clear, I know the pants he had on and could see his hair and face but not super clearly. He hugged me and put his arm around my shoulder the way he did in life when he wanted to have a heart to heart talk. He told me: I wrote it down because I can't remember things very well when he comes,seems so clear at the time but then it's gone. "Mom I want you to stop grieving me, you've grieved enough. I want you to be happy like I am. It is possible after such a loss to be happy again. You have so much to live for, to be happy about. I want you to see it.

"I am so good Mom, in a way I never could've been as Dan. Please have peace about that. I am always close by, always in all ways. I said a few things to him.

I know you're trying really hard. It's time to let the pain of Linda and Dan go and embrace our new relationship. This one is way more interesting if you let it be. More loving too, in ways I couldn't be as Ben in life. None of this was your fault, none of it.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

I was able to visualize the relaxation and the divine light of protection as well as identify the power I have chosen to protect me. The doorway was much clearer and I felt a lot more physically involved, or I should say the experience felt more real as a physical experience would.

My place of beauty had some improvements, there was a beautiful flower garden surrounding a swing and I could almost smell the roses, lilacs and carnations. For some reason these were the exact floral scents I could identify. My self felt youthful and healthy and I could feel the damp grass under my bare feet.

I asked Greg to come to this place and he was instantly there. He said "Hey Mom," just like he always did in life. I asked him to sit by me and I laid my head on his shoulder after asking if that would be ok. I also hugged him. He had tears in his eyes and I asked him why he was sad, that I never wanted him to be unhappy. He smiled and told me he was sorry for leaving us and sorry for all the pain that his death had caused his loved ones. I asked him if he could see how this exercise was lifting my spirit and allowing me to have joy again, he smiled at me and said there were others who still grieved. I thought of his wife, his dad and his sister among others and I acknowledged that they were still extremely sad at times. We prayed together for them to be healed and for the way of communication to be given them.

I then asked him what the meaning of the oyster with the pearl was from our last visit. I then saw a card from a deck I have that I picked up at a yard sale the summer before last, its called sacred geometry. I haven't really spent much time with them but I will look at the cards after I finish this.

We just sat quietly and listened to the music for a while. Then I saw my dad again, this time he was young and handsome and I told him how wonderful it was to see him in his prime. He smiled and told me he had a surprise for me. Then my mother, who I haven't seen since I was four years old was there. She said to me, Hi Susie Q, I love you and so wish I could have been there for you. I hugged her and her words were in a voice I must somehow remember from my childhood as I have never thought in that voice that I know of.

Then it was time to return, I don't know how the return time is decided, but it seemed to me that someone was going to contact me with a solution to some mystery. Maybe just a random thought but it felt important.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~
The next two excerpts are by a participant who has connected dozens of times; it shows the rich continuing relationship she has developed

This time I barely needed to count down and relax in order to reach my marble room. Tom was with me immediately. I could see a quick image of him but only for a few seconds. Tom prefers not to be locked into my physical expectations. Unlike our usual connections I wanted to remain where we were and we as lightbodies sat facing each other. At one point I felt my head resting on Tom's shoulder with his arm around me. But in fact our bodies were not physical nor what would be recognized as physical.

Tom told me to look into his eyes and see the love pouring out to me. I was also pouring love to Tom too, in a non-physical way. I told Tom how badly I need him today. My strength is faltering and I asked if he would help me regain my strength. He wrapped me in love and strength and understood why I'm having a hard time. His dad and I celebrate our wedding anniversary soon. Mothers Day is May 12 but the hardest is his birthday coming up when Tom would have turned 20. Tom understood but also told me not to worry. These dates will be manageable, and I will be OK. He reminded me I am stronger than I know. I know life is not fair but I wish we had not planned this life to lose him so young. Tom brought up the fact that we live past, future, parallel and alternate lives. Many right now because time is an illusion. In this one I'm suffering his early passing but the others are not this way.

We also talked about how his need for me and anxieties regarding my safety while he was younger was due to his soul realizing we were going to part before we were ready, but he did not realize he would go first. Not until his teens did he know on a soul level. We both knew to try and savor every moment.

Tom reiterated that we were and still are the best parents for him. He feels we gave him everything. And he believes not a single other person he knew felt as wrapped in love as he always did. That's why he wanted to spend so much time with us, even if it included his friends, male and female. He loved how we welcomed all to our home. He had the best growing up possible.

Tom continued to remind me that I will overcome the bad times and to hold onto the big picture. He knows I know this is just one tiny life but one with incredible growth. And we are barely separate at all. My soul knows this.

Many of these things Tom has said before but each time I hear them it brings joy to my heart.

Tom also commented that each time I care for someone else or show love for Gaia by picking up trash that he smiles and I grow a little bit more.

This is the best I can remember from the connection although I've probably left some things out. We talked so much I can't always record it all but I do my best.

We did not say goodbye as we got ready to part but see you soon. Tom vanished and I quickly came back.

My thoughts are these....that these connections are real and true and Tom giving me what I need at any given time. Our love and connectings are incredibly strong.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~
from the participant who wrote the previous journal excerpt

As usual I went right to my beautiful marble room and Tom was there immediately. I again noticed that the marble is warm glowing and vibrant. Tom and I hugged then I asked to go to Eternity. We seemed to float or fly through the doorway holding hands but not physically. Its definitely soul to soul. I commented on how beautiful Eternity is and Tom replied that it continues to become more. More of everything good beautiful and loving. Because its made of love. He told me I can't quite understand it all yet but for still being physical I am grasping the concepts well.

We talked. Mind to mind. Tom told me how happy he is to see me the way I have been lately. Accepting. And more at peace. I seem to have turned a corner and am able to go on much more easily now. Tom loves seeing me smiling and enjoying life rather than crying. He said he can't guarantee I will always feel this peace but now that I have I will be able to get back to that state without much difficulty.

He and I both talked about how happy we are that we have so many ways to connect and communicate. Tom said not everyone goes to the lengths. I have to connect with a loved one who has passed. But he knew immediately that I would pursue any means I could find. We talked all the time when he was physical. Why would that need to change? Tom reminded me he is with me even more fully now as there is nothing to separate us. He is inside me beside me with me always.

He mentioned that he is glad I don't refer to him as dead since he is more fully alive than any physical being. I told him I know its not my time yet but that I have no fear of transitioning at all. We also talked about how the physical is the illusion. The Afterlife is the real existance. Tom also said it should be considered the before and after the false existance that we when physical call life. He is alive in a way I cannot begin to imagine.

We then went back to my room in preparation for parting. I said to Tom I find it mind boggling that my marble building pulsates with warmth and light. Tom said that's because its filled with our love and being. I can't exactly explain everything because the concepts are difficult to grasp in the body but I know its all true.

We then hugged and I watched Tom return to Eternity. I came back.

I'm finding my connections seem to becoming deeper and more easily reached. I don't really see but intuitively know what we are seeing doing and saying. Its so incredibly moving.



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