Journals from One Participant Over Time

Several participants have been connecting every day or every few days for months. The result has been that they have developed rich new relationships with their loved one in spirit. They have also received teaching and messages that are profound and wise.

One participant we're calling Joan has had 113 connections since she began using the procedure in late January 2013. Her partner of 20 years, whom we're calling Ben, transitioned to the next plane of life in 2012. Over the course of the 113 connections, her connections have become deeper and the experiences more remarkable. Ben has been using the sessions to teach Joan, using images and scenarios that are metaphors, rather like koans. However, along with the metaphors is always an impression without words that provides the meaning. The teachings are in keeping with the Earth school model of teaching in which we learn through discovery, with guidance from our loved ones, our guides, and the Source to help us grow and learn.

A small number of Joan's journals follow to give you a perspective on what happens when someone connects over time. The gaps in time are from journals left out of this sampling. She has been connecting nearly every day.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~
Joan's first connection

Stage 3: January 29, 2013

In the first exercise the beach was long and sandy, I approached it from the right hand side. The girl had long brown hair and was about 8 or 9, but she also flashed to a younger girl with wavy blond hair. When I said hello, she looked up and said"Hi Mum" (I do have a daughter in spirit), then went back to building a sand castle. I sat down and helped her, and almost in an instant a magnificent castle was built. She then ran off to play and I lay down on the sand just feeling the sun and the peace, the other people were a long way off. An angel, looking like the classic picture book angel came and hovered over me, smiling at me and sending golden light in waves over me. Then I counted out.

In the second exercise, the beach was a small cove with rocks on either side. I stood in the water and could feel the tide pulling against my feet. My partner came up behind me and put his arms around me and we simply stood there together, snuggling. I stayed there a while and then counted out.

In the 3rd exercise, as I walked away from the water I realised that the cove was at one end of the 1st beach. I sat down and lots of small creatures like snails and insects came around my feet. After a while they became babies then small children then they all ran off to play. I asked if anyone had a message for me and a whole bunch of people turned up, some floating in the air, I didn't know them. After a few minutes silence I got the word "cover" when I asked for clarification I got "duck and cover", then later "peace". I began to count out, then got "hang on", so I paused, and my partner came through the crowd to tell me that he loved me. We hugged and then I counted out.

All of these were impressions, although when I was with my partner in the sea I felt tingling at the back of my right thigh, and when I was waiting to see if a message was coming, I had a tickling sensation on my left temple.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 4: January 30, 2013

During the instructions I didn't feel as if I was properly relaxed or feeling the love but once I'd moved on to the place of beauty I realised that I was relaxed and feeling love (maybe it was because I'd stopped "trying"). My place of beauty is also my place of peace, a meadow, tree, river and trees on the other side. When I got there I had a sense that my partner was around but didn't see or feel him there. Stepping through the doorway I sensed he was closer but again, didn't see or feel him. When I asked for the message I knew he was beside me and it seemed like I had some sort of form though not like a body, and he had no form. I got "Love". I asked him to tell me more about that and he said "Love everything and everybody", then I experienced what unconditional love feels like and could picture myself living life that way and being very happy, peaceful and true to myself.

Then I had impressions of headstones and cemeteries, people scattering ashes in filthy rivers ( I had been talking yesterday about not having made a decision over what to do with his ashes), I asked him what he wanted. I got a sense of him smiling and knew that he would be happy with whatever I choose, and would be very happy for his ashes to go with mine when the time comes.

Then I had the impression of seeing him diving off a ridiculously high waterfall and laughing with enjoyment, knowing that he can do anything he wants now. When he dived again he kind of morphed into a young woman with long blond hair, at first I thought it was me, but when I went to say goodbye, I realised it was our daughter aged about 19 now, and gorgeous. When I hugged my partner goodbye he became the cuddly older shape he was when he passed, when he was diving he was younger and trimmer. I had just finished counting out, and an alarm went off that would have disturbed me had I not finished exactly when I did.

How valuable or not valuable were the procedures for you?

Incredibly valuable. I am gaining tools and confidence. Thanks to the positive and constructive feedback after the journal entries I am losing my self-criticism about not being able to connect, because I actually am I just didn't know it! That feedback is one of the most important parts of this process I think, especially in the learning stages.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 4: January 31, 2013

I did stage 4 again, because I had jolly well forgotten to download stage 5 last night! My partner (Ben) was in the beautiful place, I had the sense of his arms around me from behind. When I stepped through the door I had the impression of his face, healthy and younger. I asked how he was doing and he put his arm around my shoulder and waved his hand as if to say look at all this! How could I not be great! I couldn't see anything but white, but could understand what he meant because of yesterday's waterfall scene.

We stood together for a while sharing thoughts, his message for me was "mindful" I queried do you mean be mindful? He said the words be mindful at the same time as me in reply then "practise". I know what he means, be aware and in the moment. The conversation was all on top of each other, not turntaking like a spoken conversation but more like instant thoughts that happened almost faster than I could process them.

Then we both jumped on a mini tandem tricycle! Hahaha we tootled off like mad things, playing like little kids, he on the front me on the back. We went through trees and underplantings along a path, absolute paradise. Then I saw the sea, not from the beach but more like the inside of a wave. Then we were on the beach together, I saw my mother in the distance (she passed 3 months before my partner), I stood with my partner and invited her closer, she did come closer, Ben urged me to go to her. I did, gave her a kiss and a hug and said she could come and visit me, she said she had been trying but I wouldn't let her in. I thanked her for being the best Mum in the world when I was a child and told her of my admiration for how she had dedicated her life to being a Mum. She began to cry because we had been estranged for many years before she passed and she felt she had done wrong by me. I told her there was no wrongdoing it's just who we each were at the time and that I had forgiven myself for that and now she needed to forgive herself as well, we remained with arms around each other.

Then my grandfather approached cheeky as ever (he passed 3 months after my partner) and gave me a kiss then stood with Mum (he is her father), then my best friend who passed 20 years ago came up and put her arm around me, her partner also gave me a kiss then went and chatted with Ben while the rest of us had a group hug. My paternal grandmother came up (she passed 3 months before my Mum), she looked as I remembered her but showed me a flash of her young, she was beautiful and familiar, then my paternal grandfather came and gave me a kiss (he passed when I was 9), then a little 5 year old girl I know who passed 6 months after my grandfather came and hugged me, she said I want coffee(she was autistic and that was her way of recognising me) but she was laughing about it because now she is healthy and well in all respects.

I said to that group that I wanted to go back to Ben now so we all said goodbye, I was a little blown away by all of them turning up! I went back to Ben and he told me I brought them all here for you, I said but why? I want to be with you. he told me because you need to acknowledge/know all the parts of you that are here, and remember I'm only a thought away. He then told me to go, and write all this down. I wanted to stay but he looked at me smiling and loving and said go, then stood there while I faded away and counted out.

How valuable or not valuable were the procedures for you?

Holy moly!! This procedure and the emails I get are really helping me to accept the impressions I get. This experience was once again impressions but felt more real and definitely unfolded. It's a wonderful feeling to begin to believe that I can be with Ben, leave him and be with him again. It gives me freedom to be in the world of the physical living without fear that I will lose him.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 6: February 1, 2013


As soon as I got to the beautiful place Ben was there, he grabbed my hand and said Come on let's go! It felt like he'd been waiting for me, I did this exercise much later today. We went through the doorway and flew off together holding hands. He wanted to show me the land where he lived. We flew over a very Disney kind of fairy tale land, complete with rainbows. He told me he is so much happier there than he was on earth, now he feels like he belongs, whereas he never felt like he quite fitted on earth.

We sat on a cloud and had a picnic. I asked him if he had any message for me, he told me to experience life and love. He showed me a picture of some of the people on earth, including me, and my light was shining brightly, he told me I have a huge capacity for love that not everyone has, and to make sure I shone. I asked him how to do that, he told me to keep doing what I was doing and to find peace and joy in everything I do, I got a picture of me pottering around the garden and going to the peaceful places I enjoy.

Then we were standing on a cliff looking at the stars with his arms around me, just soaking it all in. I had a lovely feeling of calm, love, safety, peace, it was just me, him and the stars. Then I was back in my beautiful place. Ben came and placed a cloak around my shoulders, as he did that, I felt a tickling on the left side of my neck. I asked what that was for, and didn't get a response but became aware of a feeling of being cared for, and realised that was the response. We kissed and hugged and his appearance became somewhat similar to pictures of Incas. I counted out.

Because my conscious mind had been so active I began to wonder if I'd made some of it up, but then I got tickles on my head, and tingles on the backs of my legs. That restored my faith that it really was him I was with. I do think I will practise this stage more though.

Write below anything else you experienced or any thoughts you have.

I was frustrated with myself during this experience, because I kept repeating words and events to myself trying to file it so I could remember it! So much happened anyway that I didn't have a hope in the end of remembering it like that, so I asked Ben to please help me remember when I came out, and I think we've done pretty well. Again, practise and faith will improve this I think, as well as doing it earlier in the morning like the previous ones so my mind is more relaxed.

Yesterday I got a lovely message when a very special bird came, and when I went to look for where it was, I found 2 feathers, then the neighbour across the road, for the first time ever, played loud music and it was 2 songs that are special to us.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 7: February 2, 2013


I did the relaxation and went to go to my beautiful place but it seemed far away, then I realised I'd forgotten to do the 1-20 count, so did that and was instantly in my beautiful place and in a much deeper state of relaxation. Ben was waiting for me under the tree, I sat down beside him. He said I love knowing that this is where I can find you every time. We sat there together for a while, I asked him if he'd taken me to see Uncle Max last night in my dream (a relative of his who has passed), he said Yup. I asked him what all the water in my dream was about (it was flowing like a river pushing me back), he said You make things much harder for yourself than you need to, relax, let things flow. I asked him what all the number patterns I've been seeing lately mean (111;222;444;555;1001) he told me it's signals to let me know that the Source is there with me. Then he led us through the doorway, and we flew again, we became like large predator birds circling, with sharp vision, I could feel the flow of the air beneath my wings.I got a flash of a small child with cheeks puffed out they seemed familiar but I don't know who it was. I got a story about a woman who lives in both worlds (pysical and non-physical) and got a picture of her passed out on her bathroom floor while she was running a class or business or something in the non-pysical world, I didn't know who she was either. I saw a crazy brass instrument the shape of which reminded me of the loch ness monster! I asked Ben if there was anything I needed to know he said Only that I love you and kissed me. I waved goodbye and went back through the door, then counted out.

I have been practising meditation for nearly a year, and have never been able to reach the deep relaxation state that I do with this technique so quickly and consistently. I'm really enjoying it.

I think this experience was about showing me that I really am in the afterlife, and helping to develop my faith and confidence that it's real.

It's interesting that since I started this procedure I haven't been remembering my dreams every night, except last night's one. Before this I was woken most nights so I could write my dreams down.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 7: February 3, 2013


As I was counting in I had a sense of Ben and a small crowd of people standing in the beautiful place by the river watching me, when I actually got there however it was just Ben and I, he was both sitting under the tree and standing all around me. I couldn't quite get my head around that at first, looking for a connection point to start, I told him it was a bit confusing for me and he got up from under the tree and then he was all around me. I said Hello, so did he and then he was beside me leading me to the door. We went through and walked through lovely bush it seemed he was leading me somewhere in particular. Eileen (my daughter) was swinging through the trees like Tarzan and called out hello as she swung past.

Ben led me to a room like a doctors surgery, and I sat on a chair under a machine that pointed 3 crystals at my head, 1 in the middle of my forehead and 2 at the sides of my head. I asked Ben what this was for, and he said it was to open my 3rd eye and ears. I sat there for some time and could physically feel a tingling in my 3rd eye. I told him I wouldn't mind some work on my heart chakra too, and a very large crystal was pointed at my heart. The crystal pointed at my forehead was blue, the ones at my ears clear-green, and the one at my heart, green. Then 2 or 3 more crystals were pointed at my lower chakras. I was there for what felt like a good 10 minutes but I can't be sure. My forehead began to ache a little (I can still feel it a bit now). I had the sense that 2 teacher types were there who had taught Ben this and were supervising him, they said That's enough and the crystals disappeared. Some months ago I had a reading at a medium's show in which Ben told me he was getting stronger so he could come through and help me, I asked him today what he meant by that, he told me he was learning how to manifest. I said Cool. How close are you? He replied Getting there. 7 months.

He led me to the waiting room and the door. I asked him if he had any advice for my day today, he told me to slow down, stop and appreciate the moment, now go and rest before work. Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me, I hugged him and we held on tight, while we did that I physically felt like I was floating although I could still feel the chair beneath me. I walked through the door and lay down by the river for a while. Then something happened, or I thought something, I don't remember, and half of me dragged myself up from this beautiful peaceful place and I counted myself out.

I have had more success in achieving deep relaxation using this procedure for a week, than I have had in a year of trying to meditate. It seems to be consistent too which is so exciting.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 7: February 4, 2013


Ben ws waiting for me by the river, I rushed up to him and we hugged. He walked me over to the tree and picked us both an apple. Then he took me to the other side of the river, we swam there in an instant. He took me to a groovy little hut, it felt like a refuge. He told me I could come and hang out here if I wanted, it could be my safe place for evermore. Then we flew with the birds, it felt free and fun, but I asked when are we going through the door to the afterlife? He said we're already here, and we flew like clouds on a really fast wind to the afterlife side, with the bush and forest that I remembered. We hovered over a village, kind of medieval but everyone was really happy and shining. We swooped down a chimney type thing and I got the impression of people new to the afterlife talking with their families about their physical lives, they had regrets and realisations. I queried how long it would take them to be happy, Ben smiled and laughed and said They'll get there.

Now he had a picnic basket in his hand and we had fairy wings, we flew over a place where the babies went to grow up, Eileen was there helping to take care of them and I realised she had spent her baby time there. We landed then in a clearing and I knew it was time to go, though I was reluctant. I saw the door and we said goodbye. I walked through the door and was put in a hot air balloon and transported back to the place I started before I did the 1-20 count. Then I counted out.

I was surprised when I came out that 25 minutes had passed, it only felt like 5 or 10. It still feels a lot like imagination, but I am learning to recognise that it is unfoldment by surprises like the baby place, I've never thought about that before and don't think I would have imagined it.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 7: February 6, 2013


Ben was waiting for me, we greeted each other and sat for a minute. He seemed a little sad and I asked him why, he said that was my sadness, not his. I asked why I was sad, and he told me that I'm always looking forward or back and forgetting the now, I asked for help to be in the now. Then I had the impression of him half hiding behind a tree, I asked him what that was about and he said I should look for him.

I told him that I needed to meet my guides and asked that they meet me on the other side of the door. Ben hung back while I went through the door and I had the impression of 2 people there, one on each side of me. The one on the left seemed like a tall male but I couldn't connect to the one on the right. I got a clear impression of an acorn hat with a string attached and a large hand grasping the string, then I saw in colour and everything a picture of red petals falling like rain. I asked if he had any guidance for me and got an impression of a fox, I found myself thinking about the nature of a fox: quick, cunning, hiding. I heard 3 voices in my head it was almost like they were echoing, I don't remember what the first 2 said but the 3rd was a woman's voice that asked Are you angry with me? Ben was holding my right hand all throughout this, and my body was tingling like crazy as well as tingles on my lips and coolness on my right cheek. Then the song Free me, free me from myself came into my head.

I'm left with the feeling that the message was about me hiding from myself and needing to find myself. I don't know what the symbols are about though. The red petals coudl be referring to Valentines Day which is mine and Ben's anniversary.

The act of writing the journal entry afterward somehow makes the experience more concrete.

Surprisingly this was 35 minutes long, I barely felt like I got there. It was not easy to remember this one and make sense of it, I really feel though that is about me not yet being able to receive clearly, rather than what I am getting or not.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Stage 7: July 22, 2013


Ben met me in the meadow today, straight away. I was so very glad to see him. We hugged warmly, and spent some time together walking through the long grass, it felt like home. He took off with me, running hand in hand through the meadow, and we came suddenly upon the baby rhinoceros and baby unicorn from my dream last night, although the rhino now felt more like a horse, and the unicorn like a one horned goat! I hadn't been able to understand them in my dream and had asked Ben to help me understand. As soon as we came across them I understood. They were referring to the animal (human) side, and magical (spiritual) side. Ben showed me other ways he had been telling me about 2 sides lately: 2 families in my dream; the 2 paths from the other day; 2 children at the beach and in my dream... To use Robert Munroe's expression, he threw me a rote that made me understand that they are always side by side, but also separate.

I worry constantly that the things I do or don't do in my physical life affect my opportunities to connect with him. I now understand it's my worries that affect the connection, not what I do (remember Joan it's the spirit with which I do them that counts). I remembered that in the dream last night a person had a lead on both the animals, but the animals were still free to explore. I asked Ben if that was referring to me keeping too tight a leash on things. He showed me a couple of scenes that told me if the animals were free to go wild so to speak, they could end up going in different directions and how could I keep hold of both in that situation? He encouraged me to take hold of the reins for now, until it comes to the stage where I and the 2 animals (human and spirit) are walking together along the same path, at the same pace, in harmony without any controlling. It would happen naturally in time.

I'm very grateful for this learning, I had been feeling kind of lost, now I'm more hopeful and have my faith restored and patience replenished. I felt like that was the lesson for today, so just relaxed into things after thanking him. I had an image of my toes in the water, wriggling, another reminder to keep grounding.

Just before I finished, my visual field began spinning and I felt myself being uprighted, I hadn't realised I was not upright to begin with. I got a body buzz on my right hand side, a kiss, and a movement on my hair.

The connections have continued daily through June. She has had over 150 connections. More will be online as time allows to post them.



Images | website template by ARaynorDesign
Design provided by Free Website Templates.